


So a man walks into a bar...

by josephina_x



Series: Cotton Candy Bingo 2012 [5]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-31
Updated: 2012-08-31
Packaged: 2017-11-13 05:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephina_x/pseuds/josephina_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Bar (random time between s2 finale and end of s3)</p>
            </blockquote>





	So a man walks into a bar...

"So a man walks into a bar and says 'Ouch!'," says Clark.

Lex waits, and waits, and then looks up at Clark.

"...And?" he says.

"Um," says Clark. "That's it. Just... 'a man walks into a bar and says ouch'. That's the joke."

"That's it?"

Clark shifts uneasily and nods, biting his lip.

Lex puts his book aside and says, "I don't think that's how bar jokes are supposed to go, Clark."

"They aren't?"

Lex shakes his head. "You see, first a man or group of odd individuals enter the bar--"

"Ohmygod, are you _serious?_ " Pete protests, while Chloe stares.

Lex frowns at Pete, while the corners of Chloe's mouth slowly drift upwards.

"It's a bar," Pete drawls out like Lex is an idiot. "A _bar_ bar. You know? Bar?"

"Yes, Ross," Lex drawls back. "Presumably one with a number of alcoholic beverages at one's disposal, and a--"

"No!" Pete says. "No alcohol!"

"...A fruit smoothie bar?" Lex asks with some confusion.

Chloe's now approaching a full-on smile.

"No! A bar! Like... --That one!" Pete says, pointing over at the far end of the Talon at the copper banister.

"...A coffee bar?" Lex says. "Did they spill some too-hot drink on themselves that Clark conveniently left out?" he asks, sounding a little put out and obviously realizing he's missing something.

Chloe covers her mouth, trying not to giggle.

Their little Talon group is joined by Lana soon enough.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"Clark told a bad joke, and Lex didn't get it," Chloe dutifully reports.

"Hey!" Clark protests. "My joke is awesome!"

"What's the joke?" Lana asks.

So Clark tells her.

"...And?" Lana says.

Clark pouts.

" _Thank_ you," Lex says. "It's completely lacking in any details whatsoever."

"No kidding," Lana says. "How would you even walk into it? By accident?"

"Well, one would think through a door of some-- ...Accident?" Lex stopped up short.

"...Door?" Lana said.

"What?" said Lex.

"What?" said Lana.

They stared at each other for a moment.

Lex again seemed to get the impression that he was missing something.

Chloe giggled.

"I think Clark meant a metal bar, Lex," Lana said slowly.

"Why does it matter what music would be playing inside?" Lex asked, sounding thoroughly confused.

Chloe giggled again.

"Not--" Lana sighed, then took a deep breath. "Ok, you know how there are jungle gyms and things?"

"...Yes?"

" _Those_ kinds of bars," ended Lana. "If you walk into one of those, it hurts, and you say 'ouch'."

Lex sat there a moment. Then he scowled and turned to Clark.

"You didn't say the man was _blind_ ," Lex accused his stepbrother.

"Ok, blind I could get behind," Pete said. "Blind would be awesome. 'A blind man walks into a bar and says 'ouch'.' That works."

Clark groans and slumps in his seat.

Chloe and Lana share a look.

"You really need to work on your bar jokes, Clark," Lex said. "That's not how they're supposed to go at all."

"Oh, like you know any good jokes!" Pete said.

"Of course I do," Lex replied primply, reopening his book. "Actually, I know an excellent bar joke about a rabbi, a cowboy, and three penguins," he said, leaning back in his chair.

"...Oh yeah?" Pete said, sitting up, as the others also looked interested.

"Yes," Lex said. "But I can't tell it to you," he added sadly.

"Why not?" Lana asked.

Lex sighed and turned a page. "Clark's mother would find out, and I'd be on thin ice."

Lana, Chloe, and Pete stared at Lex.

Clark _died._

"Must be a Luthor thing," Pete muttered.

\---

"Man, I can't believe you had everybody going like that!" Clark exclaimed as they walked out of the Talon later.

"Mm," said Lex.

"Seriously, you are like the best straight man ever," Clark enthused.

"Mm," said Lex.

"I mean, the way that you-- ...uh, you _were_ joking about not getting it, right?" Clark realized belatedly.

"Mm?" said Lex, glancing up from his book.

Clark stared at him.

Lex smiled.

"--Ha ha, you had me going for a second there," Clark said, shaking his head.

"Mm," said Lex, beginning to walk off.

Clark stared after him, then said, "Wait, you really _did_ get it, right? ...Right?"

Lex kept walking, but he got a quicksilver grin and a slight blush that he quickly stifled before Clark jogged to catch up with him.


End file.
